厕所风云

i have wanted to write something about my Maldives' trip for the past weeks, but i have been really busy, yet diving in Maldives was really disappointing. and today, i read an email from a friend which was sent to me a while ago, which made me burst into laughter while working on some tedious translation work. so i decided take a break and share it here. and since i have finally realized how terrible my translation skills and writing skills are, this blog will be my practise ground from now onwards.

Hence, in the future, some or part (sensitive ones better in Chinese) of my stories will be written in both English and Chinese, or written in English and translated into Chinese, or vice versa here you go:





I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice from the other stall saying: "Hi, how are you?"

I'm not the type to start a conversation in the men's restroom but I don't know what got into me, so I answered, somewhat embarrassed, "doin just fine!"

And the other guy said, "so, what are you up to?"

What kind of question is that? At that point, I'm thinking this is too bizarre so I answered, “UUhh! I'm like you, just travelling!"

At this point, I was just trying to get out as fast as I could when I heard another question, "can i come over? "

Ok, This question is too weird for me but I figured i could just be polite and end the conversation. So I tell him, "No..... I am a little busy right now!!!!"

Then I heard the guy said nervously.....

"Listen. I'll have to call you back. There's an idiot in the other stall who keeps answering all my questions!!!!"　


当我如厕刚要坐下时，我听到厕所隔壁的声音说：“嗨！你好吗？”

我并不是那种会在厕所和人交谈的人，但是不知为何，我不好意思地回答道：“还好！！！”　

另外那人说：“那你在干吗？”

这是什么问题？我当时想，这太古怪了，所以我就回答说 ：“啊！像你一样，只是走走！ ”

我当时只想尽快离开，岂知又抛出了另外一个问题，“我可以过来吗？”

哇！这问题实在是太奇怪了，不过我觉得我可以礼貌地终止这对话。所以我告诉他，“不行　..... 我现在没有空"　

之后我听到那个男子紧张地说.....

“我迟些再打给你。隔壁有个笨蛋老是回答我的问题!!!!"

办公室“劫騎”案件

記得中學的時候﹐一名男同學擅自從一名女同學的桌上取過涂改液使用﹐女同學不满說“不問自取便是偷”﹐而男同學卻理直氣壯回應說﹐“不翼而飛就是不見。” 

當時全班同學(好象包括老師在內)都哄堂大笑﹐之後也沒有當作一回事﹐這兩句名言開始在同學間內傳。

出來工作之後“不問自取”的事情固然有﹐不過沒事﹐沒有經過同意偷看私人物件比較可惡。

上個星期﹐把準備數天(沒有時間處理寫新聞)的照片放入公司的系統內﹐在還沒有來得及處理前﹐照片遭人“劫騎”了。

照片標上了她人的名義﹐還以為自己搞錯﹐便提起勇氣向女皇求證﹐豈知﹐照片真的是本人所擁有﹐真的是被她人使用了﹐還理直氣壯地說“你的嗎﹖我以為是英文報的照片。是經理叫我寫的﹐你訪問了什麼人﹖”

沒事﹐我就省下功夫﹐不寫便是。（好才还没有开始写，又不是什么大不了的新闻。）

可是﹐從興師為罪﹐到被人責問﹐明明是我的照片﹐可是好象是我錯一樣。 所以不爽。

我終于明白盜版為什么那麼可惡。 將這件事情告訴一名資深同行的時候﹐他說﹐這根本就是抄襲﹐就算她以為照片是英文報的﹐在使用前也應該征求同意。我以后晓得了。

其實這根本沒有什麼﹐只是看到自己的照片被別人用了﹐還“理所當然”沒有一絲歉意﹐寫的也沒有什麼了不起的東西﹐所以不爽。

這也讓我想起當年課室內發生的“偷竊”或“懸疑”案件.....

蚯蚓變魔法, 廢物變黃金

蚯蚓的大便﹐是我入行以來感到最驕傲的報導。 除了去年黑幫事件一連串獨家又獨家的報導之後﹐這是令我最有滿足感的報導。因為全砂各地都有讀者打電話給我﹐無論他們的最終目的﹐以及令人死不爽的稱讚是真是假﹐多個月來對工作的不滿﹑不平衡﹑辦公室女皇表現普通卻自以為了不起的難看臉色﹑各部門之間不解調的問題﹑沒有要求的工作態度﹑諸如此類等等﹐都暫時好像不重要了。

雖然採訪這位養蚯蚓的先生時﹐他欲言有止﹑有點前後矛盾﹑又不怎麼直接了當回答問題的確讓人不爽﹐不過又再次跟他打免費廣告﹐希望他發達後不要忘了曾經有過這樣的一篇報導。



1。什麼是蚯蚓有機肥﹖
其實就是蚯蚓的大便﹐猶如土壤般。顏色深邃﹑沒有異味﹑絕對純天然﹐混入一般的泥土中﹐可以作為肥料來提高種植產量。

2。養殖蚯蚓
飼養蚯蚓在西馬已經冒起為新興行業﹐潛在無限商機﹐本小利大且風險低。
養殖蚯蚓不僅是可以售賣蚯蚓而己，還可出售小蚯蚓（蚯蚓幼苗）、優質有機肥及有機液體肥料等，主產品與副產品在國內外都有市場。
蚯蚓是雌雄同體的生物﹐生殖週期非常頻密﹐每星期都可以下蛋﹐生下12到20只幼虫﹐平均壽命是3到4年左右﹐所以蚯蚓的繁殖可以以“子孫滿堂”來形容。

3。如何養殖蚯蚓﹖
蚯蚓是雜食性動物，它除了玻璃、塑膠、金屬和橡膠不吃，其余如腐植質、動物糞便、土壤細菌等以及這些物質的分解產物都吃。每月吃食量相當于自身重量。
蚯蚓在土壤中不斷繁殖﹐長年累月下﹐生產的排泄物越來越多。 過濾後便形成了天然的蚯蚓有機肥。 而這些蚯蚓吃的﹐是我們日常生活中不要的食物殘渣等有机物﹐它們連同泥土一同吞入﹐再分解排泄成機肥。

4。蚯蚓有機肥的功效。
由于蚯蚓有機肥是天然肥料﹐效果不比化學肥快速﹐所以在商業農場上並不是上佳選擇﹐不過卻是絕對天然。

5。在那裡可以買到蚯蚓有機肥﹐或是小蚯蚓（蚯蚓幼苗）?
在古晉西連路3哩半的彩虹園藝。
每公升8令吉。

地址﹕3, Jalan Burung Landas, 3 1/2 mile, Penrinssen Road, 93250 Kuching.
電郵﹕ martinkho@pd.jaring.my

the most popular mongolian in malaysia

i have never met any Mongolian in my life. but i have the perception that Mongolian girls are tall and pretty, but too bad the only one known to all Malaysians was a dead one. everyone knows how to pronounce her name properly, even my old illiterate grandmother know how to spell the name of "altantuya".

Her brutal murder was still a myth with much speculations, and there is an clear indication of political influence/ interference over her case involving many atas people in malaysia following malaysiatoday's another revelation recently.

even though raja petra was detained under ISA, malaysiatoday still able to update/ reveal the abuse of power by dpm. text messages transmitted between Najib's personal mobile phone (+6012 2143177) and Shafee's mobile phone (+6012 3257052)was published, also carried by many websites and bloggers.

as usual, mainstream media will not report the news until najib's official response to it.

malaysiakini reported that anti-Najib banners have sprung up in some parts of the city, but najib's supporters deny the latest news could have any effect on his upcoming unmo presidency campaign.

Malaysiakini also quoted a long-time close supporter saying that they were not bothered at all, and all these allegations was obviously intended to sabotage najib, "but he is riding a wave of popularity now. I don't think Umno members have much choice anyway."

i just wonder, what will happen next? will najib swear again like he did previously? or another round of tangkapan under ISA????

老白的真话

老白先生说，本地的报章不听话，随便报道说白政府驱逐逾10，000名的土著，离开他们祖先留下来的地。

老白先生说，媒体捏造这些，就连本地媒体，也没有经过正式的管道来证实，就随便刊登，意图不良。

他还说，聪敏的人们，一定分得出什么是真的，什么是假的。

只要报纸说白政府好的，便是真的。

翻开报纸，一天到晚都是老白说，或是老白的马仔所说的话，什么本南女子没有被性侵，伐木占用土地一切都是假的，白政府以国家发展为主才是真的。

一就是老白努力把人民训练成傻瓜，要不然就是白政府下的人民本来就是傻的。